All These Years
by fourandtwenty
Summary: Nymphadora Tonks hasn't seen Remus Lupin since the day Voldemort was defeated and the night she proposed. When he unexpectedly returns to her, she must finally admit the truth about their daughter not just to Remus, but to the rest of the world as well.
1. Prologue

**All These Years**

_Prologue_

There was something about the way he crossed the bedroom that made Tonks want to crawl up inside of him and stay there for eternity. Even in the low light, she could see the taunt muscles in his arms and the scarred skin of his back and torso, and instead of repulsing her, as he was so afraid they would, they enticed her, beckoning her to come towards them, to touch them, to feel them, to trace them until she'd memorized every last line. She loved every inch of him and knew he loved every inch of her, just by the way he kissed her hello. A man couldn't kiss a woman like he kissed her and not belong to her completely, body and soul.

They'd been together for five months; five beautiful months that were littered with dark moments neither of them could control. They found solace in each other when their friends and family fell, one by one, until there were so few left that they no longer had the choice to fight. They had to win.

It was the night after that final battle that made her fall in love with him all over again. Their bodies were bruised and beaten, fatigued by battle, but still they made love, gentle and sweet with overtones of joy that couldn't be expressed by mere words alone. They were free; Voldemort was dead, and Harry…against all odds, Harry had survived.

"I don't think I've ever loved you as much as I do right now," Tonks whispered against his warm skin as she nuzzled his neck. Her legs were wrapped around his waist as he hardened inside of her, neither having the heart to separate after he came inside of her only minutes earlier.

"I don't think I've ever loved anyone as much as I love you," he replied in kind. His hands kneaded her breasts and she arched her back, mewing softly at the sensations.

This was the moment, she decided. If he wasn't going to do it, even after all that'd happened — she would. Tonks knew she'd never love anyone like this again, no matter what, and to her, there was simply no question about it.

Nibbling on his earlobe, she left a trail of kisses across his jaw until she reached his lips. Giving him a sweet kiss, she opened her eyes, thrilled to see that his own were closed.

"Remus," she murmured, her lips still brushing up against his. Her fingers traced the scars she'd memorized as her hips moved against his, making love to him a second time that night. "Marry me."

His eyes flew open, and instead of the smile she expected to see, she saw tears forming, shining against his brown irises. Confused, she tilted her head away so she could talk to him properly, but he caught her lips in a bruising kiss before she could say a word. In one movement he flipped them over, and all she could do was lay there and feel her climax build as he thrust inside of her. Every bit of pain he was feeling, she could feel, and it scared her to think that a question she'd thought so inevitable had induced such a reaction inside of him.

Still, as she came, he released his seed inside of her, their cries mixing to form one incomprehensible sound. Once they were both finished, he slipped out of her and lay down beside her, his hand still on her breast. He was silent, and therefore so was she, too afraid to press the matter. If he didn't say yes tonight, she was certain that eventually he would. All it'd take was a little time.

She fell asleep easily, exhausted from the day and night. When she awoke, he was gone, having left a cold hollow in the mattress and the pillow behind. She thought nothing of it, as there must've been things she couldn't even imagine to take care of in the wake of Voldemort's death. But when he still didn't show the next day, or the next, or the next, she slowly realized what had happened. He was gone, and he wasn't coming back.

Three weeks later, she discovered she was pregnant. For the next nine months, she cried herself to sleep every night, until she had a daughter to cry for her.


	2. Chapter One

**All These Years**

_Chapter One_

"Amidora Grace! Shoes off before you run around on the carpet!"

Nymphadora Tonks closed the front door behind her, sighing wearily as she charmed the groceries to head into the kitchen. A moment later, two pink trainers came flying towards her, and she was just able to move out of their way before they hit the door.

"Amidora…" she said, her voice rising in warning. A high-pitched giggle came from the living room, and she heard the patter of feet running into the back of the house. Sighing again, Tonks started down the hall, reaching the kitchen just in time to watch the last grocery bag set itself down on a hot stove and light on fire.

"Bugger!" Pulling out her wand in record time, she tried to control the flames, but was losing the battle rather horridly. The orange flames rose higher and higher as she struggled to put them out, and finally, letting out a rather desperate wail, she grabbed the nearest soup pot and hoped that perhaps suffocating them might work.

"Tonks, don't," another voice said quickly, and before Tonks could react, the flames were out. Turning to face her rescuer, she let out a sigh of relief and made the three steps it took to attach herself to him.

"You should be more careful," he chastised as he returned her embrace, kissing the top of her head as he did so. "One of these days you're going to burn the house down, and then I'm going to say I told you so."

Pulling away just enough to be able to look up at him, Tonks shot her husband a sheepish look, not quite knowing what to say to that. "I'm sorry, I'm just a little out of it today, that's all."

He nodded, running his fingers through her hair – long and dark and natural, the way she'd worn it ever since her daughter was born. There was no point in confusing her, after all, and if her mother looked different every time she approached her crib…

"Understandable," he said, brushing his fire-red hair back from his eyes. "We're out of potion, by the way. Used up the last of it this morning."

Her shoulders slumped, dismayed. "Out completely? Not even enough to get through tonight? _Charlie_…"

"I'm sorry," he said defensively, holding up both hands. "I would've gotten it myself, but Merlin knows where you get the stuff."

She sighed again, this time leaning up against the counter as she did so. Rubbing her eyes with the palms of her hands, she tried to mentally pull herself together. It'd been a long day of work, and the last thing she wanted was to have to go out again.

"I'll tell you what," Charlie said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "You go out and get it, and I'll clean up this mess and cook dinner. How does that sound?"

There wasn't much choice in the matter, but at least he was being nice about it. Nodding, Tonks then gave him a quick kiss. "I'll be back in about half an hour. Keep her occupied in the meantime, would you please? She's been a holy terror ever since I've picked her up."

She didn't wait for Charlie's reply; she already knew that he'd agree, so there was no point in sticking around to hear it. Disapparating with a pop, she arrived in Diagon Alley looking not at all herself. Dark hair was replaced with blonde, and her figure was now tall and full instead of petite and slim. If she were to be seen at her destination, there'd be hell to pay, and Tonks wasn't about to risk it.

Turning down Knockturn Alley, she bowed her head and walked quickly, avoiding eye contact with all she passed. She had one thing in mind, and conversation wasn't it. Brushing past the hags and warlocks trying to sell her ugly and worthless products, she ducked into the dark apothecary, wincing at the sound of the bell on the door. This was the only place she knew of to get what she and Charlie needed, and even if she had to sell her soul in order to get it, then so be it.

"Back again?" the wheezy old shopkeeper behind the counter said, his gnarled fingers twirling a gold coin methodically.

"We ran out," Tonks said shortly, reaching into her purse to pluck out the standard fee. "I'll need next month's worth, too."

"I assume you aren't talking about the contraceptive potion," the shopkeeper said with a twisted grin.

"You're right, I'm not," she snapped. "Wolfsbane. I need the rest of this month's dose and the next, and if you wouldn't mind, I'm in a hurry."

"Always in a hurry," he mumbled, setting down the coin with a shake of his head. "I've got none."

Tonks blinked. "Excuse me?"

"Wolfsbane," he repeated. "I've got none left. Last of my stores taken early last yesterday – takes too long to brew more for me to have a new batch yet."

Her heart was beating so fast inside her chest that it was actually painful. Sucking in a breath, she tried to keep herself from losing control as she slowly backwards from ten.

"You _have_ to have more," she insisted with a growl at three, unable to make it to one. "Where else am I supposed to get it?"

The shopkeeper shrugged helplessly. "I haven't got anymore, I'm sorry."

Letting out a soft cry of despair, Tonks covered her eyes with her hand, willing herself to calm down. There had to be a way around this – there always was. If she didn't have the rest of the dose…

"Although," the shopkeeper said in an oily voice, "for a fee, I can tell you where you can get more."

Tonks uncovered her eyes to give him a suspicious look, a tiny bubble of hope rising up inside of her. "I'll double your fee if you tell me and wait until after I'm positive it's the real deal before I pay you."

"Done," he said brightly, picking up his coin again. "The fee's twenty Galleons, and this…" He opened a drawer behind the desk and procured an aging piece of parchment with a barely-legible address scribbled on it. "This is where you'll find your Wolfsbane."

Taking the address, she scanned it, her heart pounding in her chest. If this was some kind of scam, the shopkeep would pay, that was for certain.

"You're absolutely sure about this?" she said, glancing up at him long enough to gauge his reaction. He was genuine.

"I'm sure."

The only choice she had was to trust him.

Ten minutes later, she matched the address to the street and number hanging over a doorway that was all but falling apart. The shop was down a tiny, cramped alleyway that Tonks had never explored before. There was no sign at the door, leading her to believe it was a residence, and the way the hinges squeezed as she opened the door told her the owner didn't care much for company. Still, the shopkeeper had insisted she go right in and not bother with knocking, but she still held her wand at the ready just in case.

The door opened up into a dark and narrow hallway, much like the alleyway outside. Picking her way through it to make sure she didn't trip, Tonks cautiously entered the room at the end, surprised to see what looked like a small laboratory set up, with row after row of Wolfsbane bottled up by what looked to be dosages. The shopkeeper hadn't been kidding when he'd said he'd be able to find all she needed here, but the low lighting of the room made it impossible for her to know for certain if the ingredients were legitimate. The bottles were different from the ones she was used to, which led her to believe her usual supplier didn't get them from here – although, admittedly, he could have always rebottled them. Either way though, she was wary of the place, and didn't move from her stance a few feet into the room.

Jumping when she heard footsteps behind her, she whirled around and pointed her wand at the man now standing in the doorway. His robes were worn and his hair almost completely gray, but she recognized him instantly. Her breath hitched in her throat and she felt herself losing control of her morph, and she shakily lowered her wand, hardly able to believe her eyes.

"Remus?"


End file.
